


The life lost from us

by Fabulatio



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst and Feels, Happy Ending, M/M, Multiple Partners, Post-Season/Series 03, Sad and Happy, Thomas is alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-16 00:26:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7244818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabulatio/pseuds/Fabulatio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy rescues Thomas from Rogers' ship and brings him back to Miranda's house. Flint is still fighting with the English. Billy is waiting for him to come back. Billy doesn't know who Thomas is. Thomas doesn't know who Flint is. Everyone loves everyone, they just don't know it yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The ending of season 3 made me sad, so I wrote this to cheer me up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is waiting in Nassau for Flint's return. He hears rumors of something that could be used against Flint.

Billy was sitting at the table in the Barlow-woman’s house just like he had been every night since the departure from Flint on the beach. He had tried to keep the house in order the best he could, but it had been a long time since had last lived in a house for more than a night and the solid floor made him uncomfortable. He missed the open sea. The kitchen cabinets were filled with delicate little tea-cups and pots and other items he was not accustomed to. There were books everywhere, which was no surprise to him given that it was also his Captain’s home. The house had two bedrooms and Billy had finally made his bed in one of them. He had slept on the floor for few nights, but once he got tired of hearing Mr. Gunn’s comments about it, he had chosen the room which seemed more like a quest room. The softness of the linens and the comfort of the mattress had made him feel uneasy at first having slept in a hammock with dirty smelling men for years, but he was now slowly getting used to them.

He had kept himself hidden in the house since he was well known in town. And everybody who knew him also knew that he was Flint’s man. He couldn’t risk Rogers finding out that the Captain still had his eyes in Nassau. Vane’s public death had had the desired outcome amongst the former pirates, although Billy still felt like the death could have been avoided. But it had been Vane’s choice and Billy respected that. No matter how much he hated to see a pirate be hanged in the one place they all could call home, he knew that the act had made his job a lot easier, although the job he now had was not quite the one Flint left him there for. 

Billy hated that he couldn’t be there fighting with his Captain and the rest of his brothers, but he was determined to do as much as he could from where he was. He wanted to make sure the Captain had a place to come back to, if he was ever to come back. If Billy was honest to himself, he couldn’t bear the thought of Flint losing the battle and coming back. Captain Flint had saved him from torture and a life in agony, the man had given him purpose in life. That same man was now fighting so that that the same could be true for all men like him. He owed everything he had to Captain Flint. 

Billy had managed to get spies all over the town. He even had one in Rogers’ house as a servant. In addition to the many spies, he had men, women and children spreading the story of Long John Silver. The story had gotten wings of its own and was working better than he had hoped. Billy pulled the strings from the house as Ben Gunn worked as his right hand in town. Billy felt safe in the house, but Mr. Gunn had insisted that a sentry was to be placed around the estate. No one was looking for Billy, no one knew to look for him, but he had agreed to Mr. Gunn's demands nonetheless.

At nightfall Featherstone and Idelle reported the news from the town, just like they had every night. Sometimes they came themselves, sometimes they sent cryptic messages, if there was nothing significant to report. Billy had heard a couple of the spies tell something about Rogers had that would ensure Flint’s ruin. At first he had not paid much attention to it, thinking it was just something to keep the possible resistance in check, but then even Idelle had heard it. According to her, Rogers had something he held in his ship in the bay, that would be his ultimate weapon against Captain Flint. 

Billy couldn’t sleep that night. He kept tossing and turning thinking of what it might be that Rogers had against Flint. Ms. Guthrie was now his confidant and counselor, maybe it was something she knew? Or maybe it was something from England? Billy didn’t know a lot about the history of the Captain, but the way he talked and carried himself, and the way he commanded the ship and knew how to maneuver it in battles were clear signs that he was a lettered man from London who had a history in the navy. Captain Hornigold had set sail with the English soldiers and was now heading to the maroon island, so the bay was not as well guarded anymore. Billy couldn’t risk it. He needed to know what it was that Rodgers had against his Captain. 

In the morning he told to Mr. Gunn to gather up four trustworthy and skilled men and meet him at the beach by the wrecks after sundown. Mr. Gunn had argued him, telling that it was an unnecessary risk for Billy to take part in the endeavor, but Billy had kept his mind. Because he didn’t know what it was that was kept on that ship, he couldn’t trust anyone else with the mission. Choosing what ship to invade was not hard. Hornigold and the army had taken most of the ships with them, but a couple of them still were left at the bay and one of them had more men guarding it than the others.


	2. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy brings Thomas back to the house.

Billy was waiting for Mr. Gunn and the men on the beach in the cover of the sharp rocks. He already had quite a good knowledge of the routines of the guards on the ship because of the spies he had placed on the beach. Rodgers clearly didn’t think there was any threat toward the ships, since the guard was quite poor. Nonetheless they would have to be careful. Billy emphasized that no guards should be killed unless absolutely necessary. The mission was to get on to the ship, find what it was Rodgers was hiding and get out. 

Luckily for them some clouds were gathering in the sky making the night even darker. The six men dived silently to the sea and started swimming towards the ship. They reached it with no difficulties and waited for the right moment to start climbing up. Billy was first one to pull himself through the gun ports, followed by Mr. Gunn and the rest of the men. Once they were all inside the ship they hid in the dark behind the large cannons for a moment to make sure their arrival hadn’t been noticed. They divided into two groups. Mr. Gunn took three of the men and headed up. Their mission was to subdue the guards if need be. After that Mr. Gunn was to go search the Captain’s cabin and the rest would keep guard. Billy took one of the men and started to go through the lower parts of the ship. 

Billy found the ship almost empty. There was nothing, save for the food for the guards. They moved fast and silently through the ship and found nothing until they reached a bolted door. Billy thought it strange. He could see a dim light coming through the cracks of the door and pushed his ear against it. At first he heard nothing, but then someone behind the door coughed. The sudden sound was followed rattling of chains and a sigh. There was clearly a man held hostage there, but who was he and why was he there? At that moment Mr. Gunn reached them. He had found the ship just as empty as Billy had, except for the captive. 

Billy needed to think fast. If there was something of value to Rodgers it must be this man. He didn’t know who he was or why he was there, but the fact that he was a captive in an English ship was enough of a reason for him. Billy looked around for something they could use to force the door open. He was already starting to crank the door of its hinges when Mr. Gunn tapped his shoulder holding a key he had found hanging in the wall. Billy took the key and placed in the lock carefully. The door opened without a sound and he took a step inside where he found a single candle lighting the small room. In the corner there was a man crouching on the floor. The man wore simple worn out clothes, he was dirty and had tangled and over grown blond hair and beard. He was chained to the floor and had little room to move. It was clear that he had been in captivity for a long time. He stared at Billy terrified. 

Billy didn’t think twice. He lifted his finger to his lips to signal the man to keep quiet. He then moved in and started to free the man from the chains. Mr. Gunn followed his lead. The man could hardly stand once he was freed so Billy helped him up and together they headed down the way where they had come from. He realized the man they’ve found was in no condition to climb down the side of the ship. He gave Mr. Gunn a look and the man let out a cry that sounded like seagulls before climbing down back to the sea. It was the signal for the rest of the men to leave the ship. 

“We will need to jump, can you do it? Can you swim?” Billy asked from the man. 

“Yes…I used to swim.” The man replied with a hoarse voice. 

Billy realized that it wasn’t actually the response he had hoped, but that would have to do. He climbed out from the gun port and reached his hand to the man. Once outside, Billy gave him a reassuring look and pushed him down to the sea jumping himself after him. Mr. Gun was waiting for them in the water and pulled the man to the surface. The splash had alarmed the guards so they hid in the shadow of the ship. After a while Billy took a hold of the man and started swimming towards the beach pulling the man as he swam.

By the time they reached the beach the other men were already waiting for them. They had acquired a wagon and a horse. The alarm had been raised at the ship as the night watch had found their colleagues tied up. Billy helped the man to the wagon and sat beside him as Mr. Gunn took the reins. It was almost dawn before they got back to the house. Billy couldn’t tell if the man they rescued had fallen asleep or was unconscious. He picked the man up and carried him inside to the other bedroom. Even though the man was quite tall, he was light as feather. It angered Billy as he remembered how he had been treated by the Navy. After he got the man to the bed Billy slumped down to the floor and fell asleep feeling exhausted.

\- - -

Thomas woke up in a strange place. He was lying on a bed with clean sheets and the sun was shining from a small window. He noticed himself being chained to the bed. It would seem that he was still someone’s prisoner. He was on a nice bed and the room was tidy, so his situation had improved, although he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. All of a sudden the door opened and a young and tall, strong looking man stepped in. It seemed like the man entering the room was just as confused as he was. 

“Um…are you alright, you need some water or..?” The man asked. 

Thomas cleared his throat. “Water, please.” 

The tall man turned on his heels only to come back a moment later with a pitcher filled with fresh water. 

“Where am I?” Thomas asked as he leaned to his elbows. He didn’t feel threatened by the man despite the fact that he was still chained and the man was clearly not a gentleman. 

“You’re in Nassau, that’s all you need to know right now.” The tall man answered crudely. “Who are you? Why were you on that ship?” 

Thomas didn’t know what to say. He felt exhausted and fell down to the bed. 

\- - -

Once Thomas woke up again the sun was setting and some candles had been brought to the room. He saw a woman sitting in the corner. As he tried to sit up, the woman stood up. 

“Whoa, take it easy! You’ve been out of it for a while.”

Thomas looked at the woman. She was young and dressed in a way he had never before seen a woman dress. He was clearly a…well, she definitely was not a puritan woman. 

“My name is Idelle. Billy asked me to take care of you. Would you like to take a bath? I have some clean clothes for you. Do you want something to eat?” Thomas felt overwhelmed by the questions and the kindness in her voice. 

“Where am I?” He asked and when the woman didn’t answer he continued, “I would like to have a bath, please.” 

Idelle smiled to him and left the room returning few minutes later with the tall man. He opened the chain he had locked around the Thomas’ ankle. 

“Sorry about this, but I don’t know who you are or what you are capable of.” Billy flinched as he saw the scarred red marks on the man’s ankles. He had clearly been tortured. “The bath is on the other room. Idelle will help you, but don’t get any ideas! I won’t hesitate to kill you if you cause any trouble!” 

Thomas sat up on the bed. Somehow he knew the man meant it. 

“My name is Thomas. I don’t know why I was on that ship” he said quietly. The tall man glanced at him and walked out of the room not saying anything.

Idelle helped Thomas up and out of the room. It had been a lifetime since he last had a proper bath with fragrant soap and hot water. He felt ashamed peeling of his dirty clothes in front of the woman. 

“No need to be shy, there’s nothing I haven’t…” The woman stopped abruptly. 

Thomas realized she must be looking at his back. He knew he was skinny but what he could only imagine was the marks left on his body by the so called treatments of Bethlam Royal Hospital. He quickly dipped himself in to the bath so as to hide the terrible condition he was in.

“I will leave you be. There’s clean clothes on the chair. We’ll be right outside if you need anything.” Idelle said as she closed the door behind her.


	3. The shaving kit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is starting to get back his humanity. Billy is helping.

Thomas closed his eyes. He loved how the warm water felt against his bruised skin. He dunk his head under water and rubbed at his tangled hair and beard as if he could wash away the years of neglect. Even though his body still ached and he felt tired and weak, Thomas couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so good. He didn’t know where he was or why but for some reason he felt safe, although he had stopped being scared a long time ago. Everything he ever had hold dear in his life had been taken away from him so abruptly. He had been treated worse than an animal for years, his body and mind put under torture. He had experienced it all already, so there was nothing to be scared anymore. Yet somewhere in the back of his mind he feared that this sudden feeling on comfort and kindness was just part of some kind of a mind game aimed to ruin him completely.

He got up from the tub only when the water had cooled down. He dried himself and took the clothes Idelle had left on the chair. There were light gray breeches, stockings, crisp white shirt and even a waistcoat and some nice leather shoes. Thomas laughed at himself. It had been so long since he had last worn anything else than the asylum’s worn out shirt and trousers that he had trouble buttoning up the waistcoat. The clothes were too big for him but they were clean and without holes. He was horrified when he saw himself from the mirror. His hair was overgrown and tangled, as was his beard and even after all that scrubbing he could barely recognize himself. The clothes hang on him like there was nothing inside. He looked like a ghost with the dark circles around his eyes, chapped white lips and hollow cheeks.

Thomas took a hesitant step from the room and smelled something delicious coming from the kitchen. The tall man was sitting by the dining room table as Idelle was preparing food. The man was writing something on a round piece of paper.

“I see the clothes fit, sort of. You hungry?” The man asked as Thomas stepped into the kitchen. 

“Yes. Thank you. …Are you Billy?” Thomas asked timidly. 

“Yes.” The man cast an annoyed look at Idelle who only shrugged her shoulders and smiled. 

Thomas took a seat at the table and Idelle placed a plate full of food in front of him. There were salted meat, potatoes, corn and some bread. Thomas couldn’t help himself, he was so hungry. He gobbled everything of the plate faster than he could realize. Everything tasted so good. The food was warm, the bread was soft and the vegetables were fresh. Thomas felt almost nauseous by the sudden abundance of food his body was not accustomed to. When his plate was empty he raised his eyes to the man sitting opposite of him. He felt ashamed when the tall man looked at him amused. 

“Why am I here? …Where am I?” Thomas asked reaching for a cup of water. 

“You’re in Nassau.” Billy answered in a low, calm voice. “This is Captain Flint’s house and you are his prisoner now. You are here because I have a good reason to suspect that you pose some kind of a threat to him. The reason why you are sitting here with us now and not tied up in the cellar, is that I have a soft spot for men tortured by England. But I must remind you, that you are still a prisoner and I will kill you if you give me any reason for it.” 

“A threat to Captain Flint? I don’t even know who he is. Do I look like I could threaten anyone?” Thomas asked astonished and spread out his hands. 

“Mr. Rodgers seemed to think that.” Billy said observing the other man. “You can move freely in the house, but do not go outside, or…” 

“I know, you'll kill me.” Thomas ended his sentence in a jaded tone.

Billy sighed deeply and stared deep in the other man’s eyes. “Rogers’ men are looking for you, so you need to stay out of sight. Trust me, you’re better of here.”

“I need to be going. Max will be wondering where I am” Idelle said and pulled a scarf around his bare shoulders. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Thank you Idelle.” Billy said as he walked the woman to the door. 

Thomas realized he was now alone with the tall man named Billy. 

“You don’t suppose this Captain Flint of yours has a razor?” He asked as he scratched his face.

Billy looked at him. “Yeah, I think he does. Come on.” 

Billy nudged his head towards the room where Thomas had woken up. When in the room he pulled out a beautiful shaving kit from one of the dresser’s drawers. 

“You’re not suicidal, are you?” He asked as he motioned Thomas to the dressing table. 

“What? No, no I’m not.” Thomas replied with a hint of smile. “I…” The words got caught in his throat. 

“Is everything all right?” Billy asked. 

“Uh – yes, it’s just… this brought back ancient memories.” Thomas all but whispered as he sat down to the chair in front of the dresser. The little box looked exactly like the one he had given to James after he had first grown the beard. The box was black with detailed engraving in silver on top. He felt his hand shaking uncontrollably as he tried to open it. 

“Here, let me help you.” Thomas heard Billy say somewhere in the distant. 

He hadn’t even noticed that Billy had gone out to fetch some water. Billy stepped behind him and took some of the shaving cream and started applying it to his chin. It seemed to Billy like the man didn’t even notice. He just held the wooden box in his shaking hands.

“You ready?” Billy asked as he took the razor. Thomas startled and looked up at him. 

“Yes.” He whispered. 

Billy could see tears in the other man’s eyes. He guided the razor carefully along the side of Thomas’ face and neck gently removing the overgrown facial hair. He didn’t know what to think about the other man’s strange reaction. 

“Thank you. Could you also do something with my hair?” Thomas asked timidly after awhile as he stared at his renewed image from the mirror.


	4. Why are you here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Billy get to know each other better. There are news of the Captain and Thomas becomes curious.

The next morning Thomas woke up feeling better he had in years. He had slept well all things considering, although the nightmares had kept waking him up throughout the night. He brushed his fingers through his freshly cut hair and felt his shaved face. He got up from the bed where he was no longer chained to. He heard Billy talking to someone in the kitchen, but he could just barely make out the words. 

“And you’re sure no one’s looking for us?” He heard Billy say.

“No, they’ve kept the search in town. They don’t seem to think about the interior. Besides, they have other things on their mind now.” The unfamiliar voice responded.

“Well that’s in our favor.” Billy said. “We need to keep the pressure up. We need as many men on our side as possible when the fight comes here.”

“You’re sure it’s coming here?” The voice asked.

“It needs to and it will, as long as the Captain is alive.” Billy sounded worried. “There’s no news from the Island?”

“No, nothing yet. I’ll let you know as soon as there’s something. I assure you.” 

“All right. Thank you for this.” Billy said.

When Thomas heard the front door closing he dared himself to step out of the room. He felt like an intruder but he was hungry once again. The younger man was pacing around the kitchen when Thomas entered the room. The morning light shined through the window catching the blue in the man’s eyes. Thomas realized then that the man was even taller than him. He wore a light linen shirt with its sleeves pulled up, revealing the sun kissed muscles of his arms and chest. All the different necklaces he had around his neck accentuated his chiseled jaw and Thomas was lost for words. 

“I’m sorry.” He stammered. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I heard you were talking to someone.”

“It’s all right. It was just some news from town.” Billy answered motioning Thomas to take a seat. “You look better. Slept well?”

“Yes, thank you.” Thomas was confused. “I – I guess I do have to thank you? I know I’m still a prisoner and you are likely to kill me but…”

“Who are you? What does Rodgers want from you?” Billy interrupted as he sat down opposite to Thomas. He handed him a plate of fresh breakfast. “You’re English, right?”

“I don’t know what he wants. I’ve never met him. Although, I have been away for quite some time.” Thomas said hesitantly as he bit in to the bread. 

Billy just sat there looking at the other man. A good shave, bath and a hot meal had done wonders to him, even though he still looked tormented and tired. 

“You’re a pirate right? Flint is a pirate captain?” Thomas’ question startled Billy.

Billy nodded his head.

“So why are you here? Where’s your captain and why aren’t you at sea?” Thomas looked straight at Billy’s eyes.

“Um, it’s a long story and a one that you don’t need to know. At least not now, when I’m still figuring out if you are the threat to Captain as Rogers thinks.” Billy felt uncomfortable sitting there when Thomas stared at him sharp-eyed. 

“I have some things to do, so when you’ve eaten I would appreciate if you would spend some time in your room. There are plenty of books to keep you company.” He said and rose from the table. 

Thomas finished his meal and walked to the bookshelf. He was amazed of the variety of the books it had. Many of them were familiar to him and they brought back bittersweet memories.

“You said this was Captain Flint’s house?” He asked. 

“Yeah, kind of. He used to live here when we weren’t at sea.” Billy answered, knowing he had probably said too much already. “He loves his books, so pick one and head to your room.”

Thomas was surprised by the tenseness in Billy’s voice, so he picked up a book he had not read before. He figured that reading one he had shared in his past would be too much for him to bear. So he took a book and headed back to the room. It was the first time he had time to look around in it and he noticed how nice it actually was. There was the bed with the little tables beside it, a wardrobe and the dressing table. The window had beautiful curtains, albeit little dusty. He sat on the bed and opened his book. 

\- - -

After a few days of sleeping and eating well – the food was good and plenty – Thomas felt stronger and more like himself again. He had spent his time in the room given to him. He had tried to read but he had felt too exhausted and had spent most of his time resting. The horrors and memories of the past decade hunted him even when awake. He noticed himself fearing the dark. He didn’t like the door to his room closed, but Billy insisted it. At least he had a window now and the surroundings were truly beautiful. For some reason he didn’t feel like a prisoner and he hadn’t even thought about escaping. He hadn’t been this comfortable in years. And besides, where would he go? 

He heard Billy talking to someone. He opened the door to his room just so that he could better hear what the men were saying.

“And you learned this from where?” Billy asked with something that sounded like excitement in his voice.

“The boy heard a messenger tell it to Mr. Rogers.” The other voice said. It was the same voice from before.

“And you’re certain of this?” 

“The boy has no reason to lie. I’m telling you what was said to me. Captain Flint has won the battle and Captain Hornigold is dead.” The voice continued.

“And he’s coming…They are coming here now? Are they bringing the battle here?” Billy almost shouted.

“I-I don’t know.” The other man stammered.

“I’m sorry…thank you again. This is great news.” Billy said sounding calmer once again. “You can go now. Send a message if you learn something new. I want to know if the Captain is coming.”

Billy had kept himself busy around the house. There was not much he could do, now that the story of Long John Silver had a momentum of its own. He had kept writing the black spots while Mr. Gunn and his men kept delivering and executing them. Billy was anxious. He hoped he could soon see his Captain again, although he didn’t know how he would take the news of the mysterious man currently in one of the bedrooms or the story of Long John Silver. But Billy still felt creating Long John Silver had been the right choice. It would steer the danger away from the Captain.

\- - -

Feeling better Thomas decided to look around in the room. His curiosity towards this mysterious Captain Flint had grown day by day. Judging by the house he lived in, the man was educated and civilized. He didn’t sound like the kind of pirate James had told him all those years ago. Even Billy the pirate seemed completely different than the tales he remembered hearing. The memory of James and the heated discussions they used to share brought tears to his eyes, yet he couldn’t help but to smile. If James only knew where he now was – a pirate’s prisoner in Nassau. 

Thomas sat by the dressing table. He felt like he shouldn’t be so nosy, but then again, the things were most likely stolen from someone in the first place. He was surprised to find so many things that clearly belonged to a woman. There were jewelry, some make-up and perfume. The scent of it reminded him of Miranda. And then there was the shaving kit. He could have sworn it was exactly like the one he had bought for James. He could still remember the unsure look on James’ face when he’d given it to him. 

“You don’t like it?” James had asked stroking his new beard hesitantly.

“No, I love it. It’s just different, that’s all. It suits you.” he had replied. He had wanted to kiss James right then, but the moment had been wrong. He now regretted it. He should have kissed him whenever possible. He had not kissed him enough.

Thomas got up from the bench and walked to the wardrobe. He opened it and found it full of beautiful dresses. He wondered to whom they belonged to. Billy had not said anything about a woman, but clearly this pirate captain had a wife or some woman in his life. Then Thomas noticed something wrapped in a cloth behind the wardrobe. It looked like a painting. He felt his curiosity rising, but he was interrupted by a voice from the kitchen.

“Mr. Thomas, lunch is ready!” 

“Coming!” Thomas answered and closed the doors to cabinet.

\- - - 

“Tell me more about the Captain. I mean, surely I cannot be any threat to him since I don’t know anything about him.” Thomas said when they were sitting at the table. 

“I don’t know what to tell you? He’s my Captain, always has been. He is the best Captain there is…”

“But…?” Thomas sensed there was something Billy wanted to say.

“But nothing. He’s a good Captain. That’s all. Now, eat your food!” Billy answered, clearly wanting the discussion to be over.

“How did you became a pirate?” Thomas couldn’t help himself. He found the subject too fascinating.

“What?” Billy looked at him slightly annoyed “Captain found me. A press gang had caught me and Flint freed me. I’ve been a pirate ever since, almost eight years now. How about you, how did you end up on that ship?”

Thomas should have known this would happen. It was clear to him by now that Billy was not stupid or half-witted, like many in London would have liked to believe all pirates were. 

“It’s a long story… I wouldn’t know where to begin.” Thomas started. The look on Billy’s face told him that it wasn’t enough. He sighed. “I was held against my will in London for years. Then one day some soldiers came, took me, blindfolded me and escorted me to a ship, which was were you found me. I don’t know anything about this Rogers you keep talking about. I don’t actually know anything what has been happening in the world for the past decade or so. You are the first person I’ve really talked since…” He couldn’t continue his thought. The memories flooded his mind and he felt himself breaking.

“I’m sorry, I…” Billy started. He looked at the other man, but there was nothing he could say. He was clearly hurting. “Fucking England.” He sighed.

Thomas looked at him. “Thank you for getting me out of there, even though I don’t understand why you did it.”

“Don’t thank me yet. We don’t know how this is going to end.” Billy said as he got up. “You want some more?”

“I shouldn’t, but if it’s not any trouble.” Thomas replied. He felt ashamed of the amounts he could eat.

“You didn’t mention that the Captain has a wife.” He continued when Billy handed him another plate. 

“I…well…I don’t really know a lot about that.” Billy said in a low voice. “I didn’t get to know her very well before she was killed. They lived here together, that’s all I know.”

Billy looked confused when talking about her. Thomas thought it best to leave the subject, so they sat in silence for the rest of the meal.


	5. Tell me about him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Thomas both learn the truth about Flint.

Thomas returned to his room. He remembered what he had been doing before so walked straight to the wardrobe. After what he had heard from Billy he was even more intrigued by the mystery that was Captain Flint. He pulled the piece covered with a cloth from behind the wardrobe and picked it up. When he uncovered the painting he felt his knees giving in. It was a picture of him and Miranda painted years ago. It used to hang in their parlor. What was it doing here? He fell to the floor holding on to the frame. He couldn’t believe it. What did it mean? Had Captain Flint raided their ship? Had He killed them? Thomas didn’t know what to think. He got up, took the painting with him and headed out to the yard where Billy was.

“What is this? Explain this to me! Is this some kind of a cruel joke?” He shouted marching through the yard.

“Wait – what? Calm down! You shouldn’t be outside. Someone could see you. It isn’t safe.” Billy tried to calm Thomas down.

“What? I don’t care! Where did he get this? Did You kill them?” Thomas continued almost screaming with tears in his eyes.

“What are you talking about? Come on, we need to go inside.” Billy grabbed Thomas’ arm and dragged him in by force. “All right, what the fuck are you shouting about?” Billy continued once safely inside.

“This is from our home!” Thomas lifted the painting up. “How does Captain Flint have it?”

“I don’t know…let me see it.” Billy stammered once again surprised by Thomas’ strong emotions. “Isn’t that…that woman…she’s…”

“She’s my wife!” Thomas yelled.

“Your wife? No, she’s Mrs. Barlow.” Billy said confused.

“Mrs. Barlow? Who’s Mrs. Barlow? That is Miranda Hamilton, my wife. Why do you have this? Did Captain Flint kill them? Answer me!” Thomas shouted.

“Wait. Wait! No! That’s Mrs. Barlow, she lived here with the Captain. She was killed in Carolina.” Billy said, feeling even more confused.

“Lived here? With him? What about James? Where’s James?” Thomas sounded exhausted. 

“You mean the Captain, James Flint?” Billy didn’t know what was going on.

“What? No! James McGraw, he was my…he was…” Thomas felt tears falling down his cheeks.

“Who’s James McGraw? What are you talking about?” Billy looked at the man eyes wide open desperately trying to make sense of it all.

“Lieutenant James McGraw. He was…he was my…my closest friend and they were supposed to keep each other safe.” Thomas was striving to pull himself together.

“Lieutenant, of the English Navy? Wait, what did he look like?” Billy was fighting to put the pieces together in his head.

“He was perfect. He had eyes green as the sea and beautiful red hair. And freckles…” Thomas whispered almost to himself.

“Wait. What the fuck…?” Billy started to stride around the room. “That’s why…oh my god! That’s what Rogers wanted from you!”

“What?” Thomas asked eyes red with tears.

“Captain Flint is this, this Lieutenant McGraw! It makes perfect sense. Fuck!” Billy explained talking to himself.

“Are you saying James is Captain Flint? Is James a pirate? Is James alive?” Thomas couldn’t believe what he was saying. It didn’t make any sense to him. How could James be a pirate? “You’re wrong, that can’t be…” He felt the world spinning as he fell to the floor.

\- - -

Once again Thomas woke up on the bed. It was nightfall and room was filled with red light from the setting sun. Billy sat in the corner leaning his elbows to his knees and looking at the ground. He had a book in his hands. When he heard Thomas moving he lifted his head.

“All right, listen. I know you’ve been through a lot, but you need to tell me everything.” He said in a low reassuring voice. “Who are the people in that painting, who’s the Lieutenant McGraw you kept talking about and why are you here?”

Thomas sighed and stared at the sealing. He wanted to tell everything. Like telling his story to someone would give some meaning to everything awful that had happened to them. He realized Billy had gotten up and was now handing him a cup of water. He pulled himself up against the headboard and sighed.

“More than ten years ago James McGraw was the closest friend we had, my wife Miranda and I. He was more than a friend.” He started slowly. “I was working on a plan to save Nassau and James was appointed to be my liaison by the Admiralty. We managed to put together a plan which included pardoning the pirates. We had help from one Peter Ashe, but the plan was not well received in White Hall. So my father, the Lord Proprietor of the Bahamas at the time, who was appalled by my relationship with James had me locked up in Bethlam. I was told that Miranda and James fled London and were later killed by pirates.” Thomas stared at the cup as the words rolled of his tongue. 

“Ashe killed your wife, not pirates.” Billy said after a while. He stood up again and walked over to the bed where Thomas sat. Billy placed a book with red leather covers next to him.

Thomas didn’t know what to think. He just stared at book which looked more than familiar. He opened it and saw the words he had written all those years ago to James. He felt the heat of the tears rising to his eyes again. He couldn’t hold them any longer. He took the book, pressed it against his chest and let the tears fall down on his cheeks. He didn’t notice Billy leave the room.

\- - -

Billy felt totally at a loss, all of what he had just learned was too much to take in. He felt so many different emotions all at the same time it made his stomach ache. He stepped on to the porch. It felt like the walls of the house were closing in on him. He missed the open sea. So many things made more sense to him now and yet, nothing made sense anymore. He had felt strange kind of jealousy towards Mrs. Barlow, because she had something with the Captain that Billy thought was not possible for him. And yet now it seemed that his Captain had had that with that man, so it was not impossible, but just not possible for him.

Billy needed to break something. He needed an outlet for his emotions, so he ended up making firewood in the dead of the night. The logs were piling up when he saw Thomas approach with a lantern in his hand. 

“Thank you.” He said in a strangely calm voice. “But the story isn’t complete. You need to tell me yours.”

Billy looked at the older man who seemed so serene in the dim light of the lantern. He put down the axe and headed for the house. When inside he took a wet cloth and washed of the sweat and grime as Thomas stood by the door in silence. 

“What do you want to know?” Billy said quietly after a while still keeping his back turned to the man.

“Everything. Tell me everything you know about Captain Flint, about James.” Thomas said and placed the lantern on the table.

“I was not here when he first arrived.” Billy started taking a seat by the table. “But I heard it was about ten years ago. It didn’t take him long to gain quite a reputation among the other pirates and the merchants. When he found me he was already one of the most feared Pirate Captains of the West Indies.” Billy stopped for a moment staring at the table top. “He has a way of…of influencing people. He is not driven by the money or the prize like the most of them. He once told me that civilization was coming and it means to make monsters of us and that’s what we’re doing now, fighting against it. I guess he never stopped working for the thing you started together.”

Thomas looked at the younger man. He placed hand over his.

“You care about him.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“He’s my Captain.” Billy knew that was not what the other man meant, but all the emotions were too much for him right now. He didn’t pull back his hand. “He’s right now fighting against the English. Or he was. He won. I don’t know if he’s coming here now to finish it.”

“Tell me what happened to Miranda.” Thomas request was hardly more than a whisper in the night.

“We were at the Carolina Colony where Peter Ashe was the Governor. We had rescued – sort of- her daughter Abigail from these other pirates. The plan was to return her in exchange for Lord Ashe’s support for the self-governing Nassau. Captain and Mrs. Barlow went to ashore where everything went wrong and apparently Lord Ashe’s guard shot Mrs. Barlow in the head. Captain managed to escape from the middle of his trial and before we left he demolished the whole city.” Billy said solemnly. “He has not been the same since. A part of him died that day.” 

The two men sat silent in the dark. They both had a lot to think about. Billy stood up and pulled a bottle of rum from the cabinet. He usually wasn’t much of a drinker, but he really needed it right now. He poured himself a drink and handed the bottle to Thomas, who sighed after a while and poured one for himself too. They sat there drinking the rum when all of a sudden, when the bottle had lost majority of its content, Thomas started to laugh. 

“What?” Billy said, slightly slurring the word. 

“I’m sorry, this all is just so absurd.” Thomas said. “I plan to pardon the pirates with James and he ends up becoming one and I his hostage. You don’t find that funny?”

“Yeah, I guess that is pretty funny when you put it like that.” Billy started laughing as well. “And me guarding you for him.” Billy stopped laughing and stared the bottom of his mug. 

“You and him…did you…?” Thomas started, but didn’t know how to finish the question.

“What?” Billy raised his eyes and saw that Thomas was staring at him eyebrows raised. “No…what? No, he’s my Captain!” He felt ashamed. He felt like the man saw everything, there was nothing he could hide from him. It felt like the other man knew his heart better than he himself.

“Oh come on! I know you care for him. You two never… I mean, look at you! The James I knew would have adored you!” Thomas regretted the words the moment they left his lips. The rum had done its job and now he didn’t know if he wanted to hear the answer.

“No! He has kept to himself all these years. He hasn’t let anyone to get close to him, not really. I knew he had Mrs. Barlow, so I didn’t…” Billy blushed and hoped that the darkness hid it from Thomas’ attentive eyes. “And there was always so much pain in him. He feels everything so deeply. I wouldn’t have known how to…” He continued but didn’t know how to end his thought.

“I know what you mean. That’s what I loved about him. How passionate he was, and his sense of right and wrong. He was like no one I had ever met before.” Thomas said with deep sorrow in his voice. 

“Tell me about him, what was he like before all of this?” Billy asked softly and fetched another bottle of rum.

They sat there drinking the rum while sharing stories about the man who had connected them in a most unusual way.


	6. You shouldn't be here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flint is back.

Billy woke up beside the dining room table. His head ached and the sun seemed to be brighter than ever before piercing through his brain. His mouth felt like he had eaten a fistful of sand. Thomas was still sleeping, sloughing on the table. Everything that had happened the previous night felt surreal. All of a sudden Billy heard someone riding up to the house. He was not expecting anyone.

“Thomas, wake up! Go, quickly to your room! Stay hidden.” Billy hissed at Thomas who lurched his way to his room looking confused and ill.

Billy quickly looked around the room to see if there was any sign of the other man. He hide the other mug which still had some rum in it. Then he calmed himself and walked to the door. By that time the visitor had reached the porch. It was Featherstone. He was all read and breathing heavily. 

“What is it?” Billy huffed as he let the man inside. “What has happened?”

“Sails…southwest…there are sails at the horizon.” Featherstone said gasping leaning to the wall.

Billy felt like someone had stolen the air from his lungs. “How many?”

“Just one, but that’s all I know. It is too far to say anything else.”

“It’s the Captain, it has to be!” Billy exclaimed. “Go, let the men know. We need to be ready the moment there’s some message. …wait, does Rogers know?”

“I don’t think so. At least not when I left here. It seems like they’re not heading for the bay. Should we sent someone to meet them?”

“No, that would only raise his suspicions. Let’s make sure he doesn’t find out until it is too late for him. Send some men to the beach just in case there’s a messenger. And tell Mr. Gunn I need him here.” Billy said. He felt anxious. The hangover didn’t help.

The moment Featherstone had closed the door Billy slumped to a chair and pressed his head between his knees. He now remembered why he didn’t usually drink. 

“What was that?” Thomas asked in a rough voice.

“It might be the Captain. It seems that he’s coming back. Sails have been spotted in the southwest.” Billy explained. He felt ashamed about everything that had happened last night.

“James?” Thomas said and turned to the window as he could somehow see him from there. He suddenly felt afraid for the first time in years. 

“I need something to eat.” Billy said as he stumbled around the kitchen. He could feel Thomas smiling at him. “Stop smiling, this is not funny.” He said but could hardly keep a straight face himself. He now felt strange kind on closeness towards the other man.

He managed to boil them some eggs and there was still some bread left from yesterday. They ate what they could and then spent few hours dozing off as the effects of the night before wore of.

\- - -

“Listen, when the Captain arrives, there’s a great chance that he’s furious at me. So, I know you’re anxious to see him, but giving the situation we are in, may I suggest that you keep hidden until I think it’s safe for you two to meet?” Billy said as he walked in to Thomas’s room. “Meaning, there are English troops still in Nassau and all of our lives are at risk. And knowing the history of the Captain, you being here might affect his decisions in a way that might not be the best for the long run.”

“All right, you might be right.” Thomas said hesitantly. “Wait, why would he be mad at you?”

“Let’s just say that I did something - with the purpose of making sure he’s safe - that he might not appreciate right now.” Billy stated shortly.

There was again a sound of horses galloping their way. Billy gave Thomas a look that said it all and Thomas stayed in his room. He now understood the importance of him keeping hidden. This time it was Ben Gunn and Idelle.

“Augustus said you boys had a party last night and might need something to pick you up.” Idelle said with a mischievous smile on her lips. 

Billy watched her walk to the kitchen with the hamper she’d brought with her. 

“You needed me?” Ben Gunn said.

“Yes. We need to make our plans. Have you any more news?” Billy said as they sat to the table.

“I have men on the beach. So far I’ve heard nothing. The sails have been spotted, one ship, but it has not moved any closer. They have moved just behind the horizon, so that if one doesn’t know they’re there, one doesn’t see them.” Mr. Gunn said.

“They would have approached us, if they were English. So we can assume that it really is the Captain. I doubt that he would do anything without knowing the situation here first. So we can also assume, that he will send a scout or a messenger before his next move.” 

“Here, drink this.” Idelle said handing Billy a mug filled with something nasty smelling. “It will do wonders for you, trust me – I work in brothel remember? …now where’s the other hero?”

Billy took the mug and pointed Idelle to the bedroom. Mr. Gunn grinned as Billy lifted the mug to his slips.

“Not a good time to start drinking.” Mr. Gunn laughed.

Idelle prepared them some food for the day as Billy and Mr. Gunn made preparations for the return of the Captain. Thomas stayed in his room. Luckily the concoction Idelle had made had actually worked. He tried to sleep, but found himself too anxious for that. He couldn’t fathom all that he had learned the day before. He couldn’t quite remember everything what was said last night and he was glad about that. He had found a blue velvet ribbon from the dresser and he now knew to whom it had belonged to. He kept playing with it as he tried to listen what was said in the kitchen. He heard something about the Captain and someone called Silver and a lot of other names, but none of it made any sense to him, so he relented and just laid on the bed playing with the ribbon.

\- - -

Billy couldn’t sleep. He had kept walking around the kitchen all night. At one point Thomas had given up and gone to bed. Billy knew that the Captain would send a message if the sails had actually been his, so he couldn’t sleep. He was waiting for that message. Ben Gunn was waiting on the beach where he and his Captain had parted ways almost two weeks ago. They’d sent another letter from Long John Silver to Ms. Guthrie and some black spots to those former pirates, who were still refusing to see their way, but still Billy felt like he should have done more.

He woke up on heavy footsteps on the porch. Before he could get up from his seat Captain Flint was standing on the doorway moonlight shining behind him. 

“Captain, what are you doing here? It’s not safe!” Billy said as the man walked closer glaring at Billy.

“What the fuck Billy? Vane is dead and the whole of Nassau is afraid of Silver!” What the fuck did you do?” Flint voice rumbled as he pushed Billy against the wall.

“I know, but wait…” Billy started.

“But what? I’m there fighting so that we could all be free, to have a life free from all of this shit and you declare Silver as the fucking king?” Flint’s eyes were blazing with anger. 

“All right!” Billy shouted and pushed the other man back. “I have a plan, trust me!” He circled on the other side of the table just to have some space between them. “I couldn’t save Vane. It was his choice. But I’ve got a plan.”

“You’ve got a plan?” Flint voice got higher as he shouted. “You’ve got a fucking plan?! We had a plan and it turned out that you didn’t deliver your end of it and now everyone is scared shitless of John fucking Silver!” 

The two men circled the table as Billy desperately tried to think of a way to calm the Captain down. 

\- - -

Thomas woke up. He heard two men shouting at each other. It was a little past midnight. He could hear Billy, but the other voice… It sounded like James, but not quite, it was angrier than he ever remembered hearing. He knew they had agreed that he would keep himself hidden as long as Billy thought it necessary, but when he heard James’ voice, he couldn’t wait any longer. He got up and walked towards the kitchen. He was afraid of what he might find. He was expecting to see that James he remembered, but he knew the man had changed. Just like he had. There was no way of knowing how he might react. By the time he reached the kitchen he saw a dark figure at the floor on top of Billy raising his fist.

“James?” He said quietly. He could feel his heart pounding. The men on the floor didn’t hear him and kept fighting. “James. James!” Thomas all but shouted. 

The dark figure lifted is head. It was James. He was older. He had short hair, but the beard was still there. He had scars and lines all over his face, but it was James. Thomas did all he could to keep still.

“Thomas?” The figure whispered, as if it seen a ghost. It had seen a ghost. He backed down from Billy unable to stand up. 

Billy jumped up and stepped away, so that he wouldn’t stand between the two. He didn’t know what else to do.

“James!” Thomas said and took a hesitant step forward.

“What? …What is going on here? Thomas?” Flint stammered looking back and forth between Thomas and Billy. “You’re dead.” He managed to say.

“No I’m not. And neither are you.” Thomas said quietly. He realized then that he did have a couple of days digesting this and remembered how he had first reacted. He now regretted that he hadn’t followed Billy’s advice.

“We found him on one of Rogers’ ships where he had been held hostage. Rogers was going to use him against you.” Billy explained as he light up a couple of more candles. “I had a different way in mind to let you know, but…”

“I know. I couldn’t wait when I heard you.” Thomas said taking another step closer. 

“Billy, could you leave us?” The Captain asked in a voice so tender Billy could hardly believe it came from his Captain. 

\- - -

The two men stayed still well after Billy had left them. Neither of them knew what to do. After a moment James got back the control of his legs and he stood up. Thomas couldn’t help but to marvel at what he saw in front on him. It was the old James, but more rugged, more powerful and demanding. He took another step closer to the table. He wanted to touch the figure in front of him, but he was too scared it might disappear. So he didn’t.

James couldn’t think. He had thought for years that the man standing there in his kitchen was dead. And now, here he was, the reason behind everything Captain Flint had ever done. Thomas looked the same, except thinner, too thin. He had pain in those beautiful blue eyes which still seemed to know everything the other person was thinking. He had the beautiful blond soft hair, although somewhat strangely cut. And he still had that same smile, the one James could never say no to. He took a step closer to the table.

“There was a letter. He told us you were dead.” James said. His voice trembled. “I should have never have left you there. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He broke in to tears. 

“No, there’s nothing you could have done.” Thomas said in a tone so understanding it left James breathless.

They both took another step forward so that the only thing between them was the dining room table.

“I couldn’t protect her.” James said between his tears leaning his hands against the table. He couldn’t look at Thomas. “I let you down.”

“No. You didn’t. I know you did everything you could.” Thomas said and walked slowly around the table gliding his hand on the surface of it to meet James’. “Billy has told me everything.”

James flinched when their hands touched for the first time in over a decade.

“You’re really here.” He whispered as the other man closed in on him.

“I am.” 

Thomas was standing so close that James could feel the warmth of his breath. He turned to face the other man still hardly believing all of it was real. Thomas moved his hand slowly up James’s arm as James lifted his face towards Thomas.

“I missed you.” James sighed when Thomas leaned in to kiss him like that very first time all those years ago.

James didn’t want that moment to end.


	7. You've been busy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James' first day ashore. He tries to understand what has happened. Billy is feeling confused.

Billy woke up the next morning with his boots still on, he was not supposed to fall asleep. He could taste the blood in his mouth. His jaw hurt and it made him remember what had happened. Billy got up but didn’t know what to do. So many things had changed last night. He had not prepared himself for any of that. The house was quiet, too quiet. He pushed his ear against the door, but there was no sound. He didn’t know if it was a good sign. He knew what his Captain was capable of, how short tempered he was. Billy opened the door gently as if the sound could break the illusion of peace. Thomas’ door was open and the room was empty. 

Billy walked to the kitchen and found the two men on the floor leaning to the wall holding at each other. The sight made his heart ache. He remembered everything Thomas had told him. He suddenly understood so many of the choices his Captain had made, the things he had said and done. Hearing their story had been one thing, but seeing it front of him was something completely different. He’d never seen his Captain look as peaceful as he did at that moment. He took a step back so as not to wake them up, but right then the floor boards screeched waking up Thomas. 

“Billy. Help me.” Thomas whispered. “We need to get him to bed. He needs to rest.”

Billy got to them with couple of long strides and Thomas helped him carry his captain to the bed Thomas had been using. Billy realized how tired the man really was. He did not wake up even when Billy lifted him to the bed. Together they got rid of his Captain’s boots, belts and the weapons he still had. When they pulled of his jacket they saw that his shirt underneath was covered in blood. Billy went to boil some water as Thomas tried to peel of the bloodied shirt of him. 

“What?!” James woke up startled reaching for his blade. “Thomas?” It took him a moment to remember where he was or what had happened.

“You’re bleeding.” Thomas said gently pushing the man back on to the bed. “Lay down.”

Billy walked in with some steaming water and clean bandages. 

“There’s no time. I need to get back.” James said wearily, desperately trying to get up.

“No, I’ve sent a message. They know you’re here. They’ll wait.” Billy said. The messenger from the beach had arrived while he was boiling the water. “Captain, we need to get you patched up.”

James relented and let his head fall on to the pillow. He didn’t know what was going on. Thomas was there. Billy was there. He felt exhausted and as much as he wanted to stay awake, he couldn’t fight it. He fell asleep while the two men tended to his wounds. 

\- - -

In the afternoon James woke up. He was home. His wounds had been cleaned and the bandages changed. He pulled a clean shirt from the cabinet and headed to the kitchen. Billy and Thomas were sitting by the table, but he couldn’t hear what they were talking about before Billy noticed him.

“Captain, are you all right?” Billy said as he stood up.

“I’m fine Billy.” James answered, somewhat confused about everything. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He continued looking at Thomas.

“Neither can I.” Thomas replied. “Come, have something to eat. You must me starving.” 

James walked up to the table and sat down. Thomas brought him salted fish, vegetables and freshly baked bread. James looked at him curiously.

“No, I didn’t make it.” Thomas retorted knowing the meaning behind James’ face. “Idelle brought it.”

“I’ll leave you be.” Billy said curtly and headed outside.

“What’s wrong with him?” James asked glancing after Billy. “He still mad I jumped on him?”

“He was worried about you. You know he did it to keep you safe.” Thomas answered and looked out of the window to see Billy.

“What are you talking about, to keep me safe?” James snorted.

“He doesn’t want you to take all of the heat of what’s going on. He wanted Rogers’ attention to be on someone else for change.” Thomas explained.

“And you know this how?” James asked all confused.

“Well, I’ve been here for almost a week now, so we’ve talked.” Thomas replied and poured some more ale for James.

“What have you two been talking about then?” James found the situation amusing, although he didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t in total control of it all.

“Well, you mostly.” Thomas said.

“Me?! You’ve been talking about me?” James asked with his voice getting high. 

“Well, you are the only thing we have in common.” Thomas said in a most careless way he could. “I’ve told him everything about us, although I kind of think he knew some part of it already. He found the book I gave you. You know he cares for you, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about? He hates me! The whole world hates me. I’m just…”

“He most certainly does not hate you!” Thomas laughed. “You should go and talk to him.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.” James said in that beautiful voice Thomas remembered so well. “Please don’t go away.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Thomas replied and kissed him gently. “Now, you go talk to him.”

\- - -

James walked to the yard and saw Billy stacking the woods he had chopped some nights ago. James didn’t remember ever seeing that much firewood ready. 

“You’ve been busy.” James said looking at the woodpiles. 

“Captain.” Billy said confused of the light tone in his Captains voice.

“I’m sorry about that.” James felt ashamed when he saw the bruise on Billy’s jaw.

“I had it coming.” Billy said turning away from him and continued the work he’d started. For some reason it was hard for him to face his Captain.

“Thank you for rescuing Thomas.” Flint said desperately trying to sound calm.

“I didn’t know I was rescuing anyone at the time.” Billy answered hastily and continued his work.

“Then why did you do it?” He asked.

Billy paused what he was doing for a moment. “I heard Rogers had something he could use against you…against the mission. I wanted to know what it was and I found him.” He didn’t know how to act being so close to the Captain, not after everything he had learned in the last couple of days.

“He’s the reason for all of this, you know that?” James said as he picked up some logs and placed them on top of the others. “He’s the reason behind Captain Flint and everything he’s done.”

“I kind of figured that out once he told me the story of you two.” Billy answered. He could feel a change in Flint, something he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was the James Thomas told him about still in there. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

“I’m sorry for the things it made me do.” James said and stopped to look at Billy for a while and then continued to gather the logs. “Why did you create him? I know he’s of your making. Captain Flint isn’t enough of a monster for this?” He suddenly changed the subject.

“No, it’s not that. I…I thought we needed a new villain for the story about to begin. And I thought you could use some rest.” Billy said, feeling uneasy.

“So you think I’m old and tired?” James said with the light tone in his voice.

“No, that’s not what I…” Billy answered hastily turning to face his captain before he could realize that the Captain was joking.

“Come on, we need to talk.” James said and headed for the house smiling. 

\- - -

Thomas loved hearing James’ deep voice after all those years. It was just like he remembered but stronger, more powerful, just like the man. He had always loved James’ self-confidence when he talked about strategy and possible maneuvers to take. Thomas didn’t really understand any of it. He had always been more theoretical and into philosophy. He wished that moment could last forever. They were eating something Idelle had once again brought to them, this time it was some kind of stew. The sun was getting low and the crickets were starting to sing. Thomas was getting tired, so he left the two pirates to talk.

The Captain and his Boatswain talked well into the night. Flint told about their fight against the English troops and Hornigold, how Teach, Rackham and Anne had destroyed the English fleet and how Silver had decided to give Dobbs the special assignment. He also told Billy what he and Silver had talked about after burying the chest. He told Billy about the change he had seen in Silver and how it terrified him. Billy was listening to every word, but he couldn’t help but to be mesmerized by the voice of his captain and the way he looked in the soft light of the candles.

After the fight Flint had taken one of the smaller ships and some men to come and prepare the attack for Nassau, but it had turned out that Billy had laid the groundwork for that already. So then Billy told all about him creating Long John Silver, the black spots and all of the spies he had around Nassau. He also told everything he knew about Rogers's daily routines, his troops and everything else that was going on in the town. Flint was astonished of everything Billy had been able to achieve in such a short time. 

“You really have been busy.” Flint said.

“I needed to do something. After Vane’s death and the battle being elsewhere... I couldn’t just wait for you.” Billy blurted out. “It’s late. We could both use some sleep.” He continued hastily and got up.

“I guess you’re right.” Flint said and got up after him. He watched Billy disappear to the guest bedroom.

\- - -

James opened the door to the other bedroom carefully.

“Thomas, are you sleeping?” He whispered.

“No, come in”. Thomas replied. He'd just woken from a nightmare, but he didn't want James to know that. He had some lanterns burning to keep away the dark, but it didn’t help him with the dreams.

James closed the door behind him and took a step inside the room.

“Come.” Thomas padded on the bed next to him. “Did you have a good talk? Do you have your plans ready?”

“Yes...no, we'll have to wait to hear from Rackham. They're mending the ships and gathering supplies.” James said sounding like his mind was somewhere else. “You must hate me. All the things I've done.”

“James, I could never hate you.”

“You don’t know that. I’ve done so many horrible things. “ He said in low voice as he sat on the bed next to Thomas. “I’m so sorry for what they did to you. I should have fought for you.”

“There was nothing you could have done.” Thomas said and pulled James next to him. “Let’s not talk about it anymore tonight.”

They fell asleep like that, Thomas holding on to James. He didn't wake to any more nightmares that night.


	8. A plan for the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pirates start to plan their next move. Billy's secret is revealed to Flint.

In the morning James woke up to Thomas looking at him. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He said lightly touching James’s cheek. 

James couldn’t believe that all of it was real. He was there in Nassau, waking up next a man he thought he lost forever. He felt so much joy when he looked at Thomas he could barely believe it. But with that joy became the realization of all the thing he had done to avenge him. The memory of all those whose life had ended because of his anger and all-consuming sorrow washed over him like a tidal wave.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered and turned to look at the ceiling. “How you must hate me.”

“I could never hate you. You did what you had to.” Thomas answered with so much tenderness in his voice James could barely hold himself together.

“You wouldn't say that if you knew the things I've done. There's no excuse for them.” James said and closed his eyes holding back tears. “I don't deserve to be loved after all those lives...”

“Billy knows all of it and he still loves you. Why should I be any different?” Thomas whispered to his ear.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” James exclaimed as he practically jumped out of bed. “I’m sorry, I.... What are you talking about?” He his fingers kept fidgeting as he stared at Thomas.

“Honestly James, you didn't know?” Thomas asked with a light tone. He could see how flustered James was and it almost made him laugh out loud. 

“Thomas, that is not funny.” James said sounding something between angry and utterly confused.

“I'm not joking.” He said as he rose to lean on his elbows. “Really James, there has been a man looking like that in your crew, as your boatswain, for eight years, so clearly in love with you a blind man could see it, and you hadn't even noticed? ...poor Billy!”

“I...He has never...wait, what? Man looking like what?” James stopped his nervous movements to stare at Thomas.

“You know what I mean.” Thomas got up and placed his hands on James’s broad chest moving them slowly to his shoulders. ”A man with a body like that, strong muscles everywhere. Talking to you in that beautiful soft voice.” Thomas continued caressing James body with his hands as he leaned in to whisper slowly in his ear. It made James close his eyes. “Looking at you all day long with those big brown eyes...”

“Blue. He has blue eyes.” James sighed almost inaudibly.

“See, I knew you’ve noticed.” Thomas said smiling, pulling back just a little still holding his arms around him.

“That’s not fair Thomas! He reminded me of you! You were gone… I missed you so much!” James cried out with a panicky look his eyes.

“James, I'm not blaming you. He's gorgeous! And besides, it was I who was dead for ten years, not you.” Thomas said heartedly and kissed James. “So you two never...?”

“What? No!” James exclaimed looking at Thomas all confused.

“You really didn’t know how he felt? James, truly, what kind of a monster were you?” Thomas realized what he’d said when he saw James’ eyes drop to the floor. “James, I’m sorry, that wasn’t funny.”

“I am a monster. ...I was forced to become one, it was the only way I could function. Thomas, I had nothing when they took you away from me. And when Miranda…” He lifted his gaze to meet Thomas’. His eyes were red with tears and his voice was so full of grief it broke Thomas’ heart. He felt bad for teasing at him that way.

“I’m sorry James. I shouldn’t have joked...” Thomas started.

“So it was all a joke?” James interrupted him looking at him eyes wide.

“About Billy? No, he really loves you James, although I don't know if he's fully admitted it to himself yet.”

\- - -

The three men sat at the breakfast table in silence. James hadn’t said a word and kept only looking at the other men under his brow. 

“Sorry, has something happened?” Billy asked staring at the other men.

“Nothing’s the matter. We just… we just have a lot of catching up to do.” Thomas explained glancing at James and trying to hide his smile.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Billy noted. “You are still moving on with the plan though? We’re still fighting England?” He continued timidly looking at his Captain.

“Yes, I…” James looked at Thomas who placed his hand over his. “Making Nassau free has always been the goal.”

“Good, because there was a message from Rackham.” Billy said sounding a little more confident. “They’ll be here in couple of days with the fleet. They’ve sent few ships patrolling to make sure there’s no reinforcements from England.”

“That’s good. It leaves us some time to make preparations.” James said sounding like the Captain again. “Have you heard from Featherstone or Idelle? We need to know what Rogers’ plan is. He needs that treasure back and he will not stop for nothing.”

“Well, luckily for us he’s still recovering from the illness and the injuries he got when we rescued Rackham and the chest. And now that his best tacticians are dead or in captive, he’s not all that effective in planning ahead. Eleanor still has his ear, but I think they’re right now trying to think what is your – or Long John Silvers – next move.” Billy continued. “They have tried to send some messages back to London, but so far we have been successful in intercepting them before they got out.”

“Good. That’s good Billy…” James said thoughtfully stroking his beard. “We need to utilize the fear to its full potential. What are the numbers in the town, how many are in our favor?”

“I’ll leave you two at it.” Thomas said and returned to his room. On his way he stopped to look at the men discussing their situation so intently. He wondered if James did it on purpose – switch from James to Flint so easily– or did he even notice it himself.

\- - -

The sun was setting when Thomas heard Featherstone, Idelle and Mr. Gunn and one other man arriving to the house. Billy and James had been talking and planning all day barely stopping for something to eat. Thomas had been reading his books in his room. He also had tried to sleep a little. The nightmares kept still bothering him, even though he felt better now that he had James back. His time in Bethlam had been awful, although most of the so called treatments had ended abruptly at one point some years ago. After that he had been allowed some books, but they had mostly been religious or otherwise “appropriate”. 

He had loved his short time in Nassau. It was not the life he used to have in London, but he didn’t know if he even missed it anymore. Especially now that he had James back in his life, even if he didn’t know if they could ever have back what they used to have for that short moment all those years ago. The time together with James in London had been happiest in his life, even though he had been forced to hide a part of himself. Now here in this house he didn’t need to hide from anyone. It felt strange to him. For so many years he had to pretend be something he wasn’t. In Bethlam they had tried to force it out of him, but here inside these walls he could be who he was, without no one judging him. He wondered if the same was true everywhere in the new world. 

“Thomas. Thomas?” James was at the door.

“Yes, what is it?” Thomas answered surprised to hear James’ voice.

“Could you come here, we need you.” James continued.

Thomas got up from the bed where he had been lying. “Where do you need me?” He asked as he opened the room. 

James took his hand and led him to the kitchen full of strange people. “May I introduce to you Thomas Hamilton, the man behind the plan for self-governing Nassau.” James said with a hint of pride in his voice. He could feel Thomas squeezing his hand tighter.

Thomas was lost for words. He hadn’t been around that many people in years. “James, I don’t…what do you…”

“Thomas, this has been your ambition all along, I just tried to achieve it by any means possible. If we are actually serious at making this place free from England, we need someone experienced in politics and dealing with Lords and governments. We need you.” James said as he turned to face the other man and looked deep in to his eyes. “I can lead men to the battle, I can plan our attack, but I can’t do what you can.”

Thomas looked around the room. He knew Idelle, who was smiling. He had heard Mr. Featherstone and Mr. Gunn visiting the house and then there was Mr. Garret, who he had not met before. And of course there was Billy standing behind all of the others. Thomas felt like he was suffocating. He was not prepared for this. It had been ages since he last had even thought about politics.

“James, I don’t know. It has been a long time since…” He lowered his voice talking only to James.

“Men don’t change. Politics don’t change. Not in ten years they don’t.” James said and looked at the others. “Look at us. Mr. Featherstone is a pardoned pirate who used to serve as quartermaster. Mr. Gunn joined our crew when we were thrown in the same cage with him. He’s a pirate now. Mr. Garret here, he’s a carpenters mate but a pirate nonetheless. And Idelle. She has worked in a brothel all her life. And you know Billy already.” He stopped and smiled to his Boatswain and then turned back to Thomas. “None of us is you. The cause needs you Thomas.” 

“All right. I’ll try… But you will need to fill me in. I’m afraid my knowledge of the situation is terribly dated, to say the least.” Thomas smiled to James and joined the group, still holding firmly on to James’ hand.

The six men and one woman sat around the table and started to work on the plan for getting rid of the English. Thomas found himself having a good time. He heard everyone tell what they knew and made a lot of defining questions. James loved it. He felt like he was watching the old Thomas again. How graceful and perceptive he was, how he treated everyone with equal respect. And even though he had to explain his questions quite thoroughly couple of times, he made sure no one felt embarrassed. He could have been something great, someone more influential James had ever known. Now Thomas could never become that and James knew that he was the reason for it. He caught Billy looking at him with a solemn expression on his face.

“Sorry, I need to get some air. Still not used to these tight places on land.” Billy said absent mindedly when their eyes met and moved to the porch.

James didn’t think nothing of it, but then noticed Thomas giving him a strange look glancing towards the front door. James frowned at him not realizing what he was trying to tell him at first, but then he got up as well and followed Billy.

“Everything all right?” James asked as he closed the door to the house.

“Yeah, I just… It’s just a lot to take in, all that’s happened.” Billy sighed leaning his hands on the railing of the porch.

“I know. Can hardly believe it myself.” James moved next Billy. “It’s amazing what you’ve done here. Thank you.”

Billy looked at him with amazement. 

“What? I never thanked you before?” James asked not waiting to hear an answer. “I’ve always valued you Billy, I appreciate your opinion. It matters to me what you think.” James felt unsure of himself. He didn’t like it. He remembered what Thomas had said to him in the morning and it made him question himself with the younger man.

“Thank you Captain, it means a lot to me.” Billy answered and stared in to the night.

“James. Call me James.” He said. “I don’t like you calling me Captain, not here.”

The door opened suddenly and Idelle, Featherstone, Mr. Gunn and Mr. Garret stepped out. 

“It’s late and we’re all tired. It think we can call it a night.” Thomas said walking behind them. “I will think on what you all told me tonight and try to come up with some sort of a plan for what happens after the fighting.” 

The others left leaving the three of them on the porch.

“So, what were you talking about?” Thomas asked.

“Nothing particular. I was just thanking Billy for everything and he wasn’t having none of it.” James said smiling.

“I didn’t say that! It’s just… I’m still getting used to this new side of you. That’s all Captain.” Billy said and saw the man frowning at him. “Sorry, new side of you James.”

Thomas smiled for the two of them and gently pulled on James’ sleeve. The night was cooling down and he needed some sleep. “It’s been a long day and something tells me tomorrow isn’t going to be any easier.” 

“You go. I stay out here for a while longer. I really miss the open sea.” Billy said.


	9. Be there for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James realizes the full extent of the effects the years apart has had on Thomas.

“Is it all right if I sleep here? There’s not enough beds and I… I can sleep on the floor, I don’t mind.” James started once they were in the bedroom.

“What are you talking about? Of course it’s all right and you’re not sleeping on the floor! And besides, it is your house, so it’s I who should be asking for a place to sleep.” Thomas laughed. “And thank you.”

“For what?” James snorted and rolled his eyes around the room. He had no idea what the other man was talking about.

“For making me feel like I matter.” Thomas sighed and stepped closer to him.

“You’re all that matters.” James said softly staring at his eyes. “Always have been, always will be.”

“James.” It was all that Thomas could say. He pulled James close to him. “I never stopped loving you. Even when they told me you were dead, I never…” 

James stopped him before he could finish his thought. He pressed his lips against Thomas’ and kissed him with all the passion that had been bottled in him for ten years. Thomas startled but then opened his mouth and let James inside his mouth. Thomas lifted his hands to caress James’ cheeks as James crabbed a stronger hold of him. Neither of them wanted to let go. They stumbled across the room falling to the bed. 

Before they used to be somewhat equal in strength and size. Although Thomas was still taller, he had little physical strength left whereas James had gained quite a lot of muscle during his years pirating. So when they fell to the bed James hold on to Thomas with his other arm while softening the fall with the other. He laid Thomas softly on the bed supporting himself with his arm. 

“God you’re strong.” Thomas sighed when they parted for air. He let his hands roam around James’ body. He couldn’t get enough of it. Thomas pulled James’s shirt out his pants and couldn’t believe his eyes when James took of the shirt altogether revealing his upper torso. Thomas sat up on the side of the bed and marveled at the ginger man’s beautiful and strong body. There were so many scars and bruises, some of them still fresh. He pulled the other man to another lustful kiss on the bed. 

James grabbed his arm around Thomas and lifted the man in the center of the bed. He trailed his passionate kisses to Thomas’ neck slightly biting as he went on. He pulled the shirt from Thomas’ breeches and once his hand touched the skin underneath he could feel Thomas’ whole body go rigid and his breathing to halt.

“Thomas, what’s wrong? You want’ me to stop? Am I pressuring you?” James asked with a frightened look on his face.

“No. I…” Thomas couldn’t look at him. “I’m not ready…I can’t, I’m sorry.” 

James lowered himself next to him. “Are you all right? Did I hurt you?”

“NO! You’re perfect. It’s me. I’m just…” Thomas stammered and turned to his side to hide his tears from James.

“Thomas? Look at me. Are you all right? Tell me!” James’ voice full on concern.

“Can you just hold me?” Thomas whispered so softly James hardly heard it.

“Of course.” He said and moved himself close to Thomas wrapping his strong arm around him. He felt Thomas crossing his fingers with his and pulling the arm tighter around him. He could hear the man sobbing. James planted soft kisses on his neck holding him close until he fell asleep. James fell asleep soon after still holding his arm tightly around him.

\- - -

“..no..No!” James woke up to Thomas’ screams.

“Thomas? Thomas! Wake up.” James tried to wake the other man up. “Thomas, it’s just a dream.”

Thomas woke up gasping for air.

“You’re all wet. Come, let’s get you out of that shirt.” James said and helped the disoriented man out of his clothes soaked with sweat.

“Thomas…What did they do to you?” James was almost lost for words when he saw the body of the man he loved full of red marks, bruises and thick scars. “I will kill every one of them…” He said voice thick with anger and grief.

“No, it’s all in the past.” Thomas had gained control of himself again. He felt ashamed. He didn’t want to alarm James. He didn’t want him to know how badly he still suffered from his time in Bethlam, because he knew James would only blamed himself for it.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” Thomas said pulling a blanket over him. “I sometimes have these dreams. It’s all right now. Go back to sleep.”

James was still looking at him with a face full of emotions. “You’re not all right. Tell me what to do. What can I do?” He said as he laid down next to the other man.

“Nothing. Just be there.” Thomas whispered.

James didn’t fall asleep again for a long time. He just hold Thomas close to him making sure the man was all right. He was starting to realize what horrors the other man had been put through during the years they were apart and it made him feel ill. He had hated England for so long for separating him from his love, but what he felt now was something else entirely. Something much worse.

\- - - 

James woke up first. It was late, the sun had been up for hours. He was afraid to move because he didn’t want to wake Thomas up. The man looked peaceful and in deep sleep. There was a faint knock on the door.

“Captain? Captain, are you awake?” Billy whispered through the door.

“Yes. Just a moment.” James answered quietly and slowly pulled his arm underneath the other man.

“What is it Billy?” He asked once he was on the other side of the door. 

“It’s just that…there has been….” Billy couldn’t make out a coherent sentence because of the captain standing in front of him half naked. “Are you all right Captain, those aren’t bleeding anymore are they?” He said without a thought when he noticed the freshest wounds on the man’s body. He was about to touch them but found control of his arm at the last second.

“What? Yes. I’m ok.” James felt himself blushing. He could feel Billy eating him up with his eyes and was surprised that he wasn’t hating it. “That’s not what you wanted me here? And didn’t I tell you not to call me that while we’re here?”

“Yes, sorry. I was just…” Billy sighed, closed his eyes and started again. “There has been development in town. Rogers has hired new men and has put more patrols on the streets. I guess Long John Silver has finally gotten in his head.”

“Are they pardoned men?” 

“Yes, they’re former pirates. Some of them are from Vane’s old crew, so we know where their loyalties lie.” Billy answered.

James sneered. “All right. Send a message to Mr. Gunn. We need to know their numbers, how many soldiers, how many recruited from the pardoned men and how many on our side. I’ll be out there in just a minute.” He said and touched Billy’s arm briefly without thinking about it. After that he returned to the room.

“Where were you?” Thomas said half awake. “I thought it had all been a dream and you were still gone.”

“I’m here. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.” James lied on to the bed close to Thomas.

“I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me.” Thomas said tracing his fingers on James’ bare body. “God, you are amazing. When did you get this?” He asked once he noticed the little crescent moon tattoo on his shoulder.

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell it to you once this is all over.” James said and pulled Thomas’ face up to face him. “Thomas, are you all right? Tell me, what can I do?” 

“Just be there for me. It will get better, I just need some time.” Thomas said in a low voice.

“You know I will always be here for you. I’m never going to leave you again.” He wrapped his arms around Thomas and pulled him close to him. “I love you.”


	10. Maybe I was wrong about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flint realizes something about himself, as does Billy. Billy speaks his mind.

“You got a message to town?” James asked as he walked to the kitchen. He was still just barely dressed pulling a white shirt on while he walked. 

“Yes, a boy left just minutes ago.” Billy answered. “There’s breakfast, is Thomas coming?”

“He’s still sleeping. He has these nightmares.” James said lowering his voice as he sat down to the table.

“Yes I know. I heard him screaming in his room at night before you got here. I guess he’s been through hell.” Billy noted.

“He has and it’s my fault.” James stared at his breakfast. “If I hadn’t….”

“No, stop it!” Billy interrupted him standing on the other side of the table. “You can’t blame yourself for everything all the time! He doesn’t hold you responsible for it, so why should you? You are not the source of all that’s evil in this world, you do know that?”

James didn’t know what to say. Now he just stared at the man standing opposite of him.

“Really James.” It was the second time Billy had used his captain’s first name. “Sure, you’ve done a lot of awful, dreadful things - I know it better than anyone - but it’s all because the awful things done to you. You’re not a bad man and you need to stop hating yourself for every little thing! Yes, I have known Thomas only for a short moment, but he doesn’t seem like a man who could ever love a man so awful you think you are. Stop believing we are so wrong about you!” Billy didn’t know what came over him, the words just left his lips without thinking. 

James was speechless. He could only look at the man, who just looked at him back with his beautiful blue eyes. 

“You two eaten already?” Thomas walked in to the room breaking the silence. 

“No, just getting started.” James said and cleared his throat. 

“What’s wrong?” Thomas asked. It was the first time James had ever hated how perceptive and caring the man was.

“Nothing. We were just... We were just discussing the upcoming battle.” James tried to steer the discussion elsewhere. He could feel both of the men looking at him.

“I was just telling him that he shouldn’t blame himself for everything that’s horrible in the world.” Billy said unexpectedly. 

“He’s smart. You should listen to him.” Thomas nodded towards Billy.

“What the fuck is this?” James couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His eyes kept going between the taller men. “Are you two ganging up on me?”

“Yes. We are plotting against you.” Thomas said with a smile. “Really James. There’s so much goodness in you but you have forgotten it because of all that has happened to you, to us.” He placed his hand on James’ arm.

Billy looked at the older men as they gazed at each other’s eyes. He felt a knot in his stomach as he realized how much love was between the two. If he wouldn’t have been witnessing it right there with his own eyes, he wouldn’t have ever believed that the notorious Captain Flint had started a whole war in the name of his lost love. He had not known such love even existed, let alone that the man he had been secretly yearning for years could harbor such feelings.

“I get if you don’t want to listen to me, but at least listen to him.” Billy said and went to get something from the cupboard. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he needed to distract himself. He wanted so much to have even a small piece of what the other two men shared. He had not realized it before he saw it displayed in front of his eyes.

“Eat your breakfast.” It was all James’ could say. He was overwhelmed by Billy’s sincere outburst. “And Billy, I do listen to you.”

Thomas let out a light laugh and the three of them sat together to eat breakfast. James still couldn’t look at either of the men. He couldn’t believe the two of them were there with him. Right there, in that moment, he was happy, and he didn’t want the moment to end. 

“You know, I know where the treasure is buried. We could just take a skiff, fetch the treasure and disappear from the world.” James mumbled with a mouth full of food.

“JAMES!” Thomas and Billy exclaimed simultaneously.

“I’m kidding!” James laughed. “But would it so awful ending to all of this?”

“Oh my god James, maybe I really am wrong about you!” Billy huffed but couldn’t hide his smile. He was getting comfortable calling the Captain with his given name. He liked it.

\- - -

They spent the day planning and discussing the upcoming events. It was starting to come clear to James that even though they had beaten the army in the maroon island and even though they now had the rest of the Spanish treasure and even though they now had a larger fleet than Rogers and even though most of the former pirates in the island were turning against the English, he could not see a way to get them completely free from England. Even if he could use the treasure to buy freedom for Nassau, the Spaniards would not let go of the fortune so easily. 

If James was honest to himself, he had not cared about Nassau’s freedom for quite some time, not after Miranda. The civilized world had betrayed him over and over again and even if he now had gotten back the one thing he cared for the most in the world, he couldn’t forgive losing it in the first place. England had killed the only woman he had ever loved. It had shot her in the head while she was trying to build peace between the two worlds. It had tortured and humiliated the man he loved for years, robbed of him the bright future he had in front of him. England had done it to the both men he loved, James realized then. What kind of a life Billy could have had, if it wouldn’t have been for the English navy?

“James, what are you thinking?” Thomas’ soft voice pulled James out of his thoughts.

“You haven’t said a word. Are you all right?” Billy continued looking worried.

“Yes, everything is fine. I was just thinking.” James said trying to get rid of the solemn thoughts in his head. He tried to smile.

“It didn’t look like it.” Billy said staring at him. James could feel tears rising to his eyes as he looked at Billy.

“No, it’s fine.” James cleared his throat and got up from his seat. “I’m fine.”

Luckily for James there was a knock on the door. It was getting dark and Idelle, Mr. Featherstone, Mr. Gunn and Mr. Garret arrived just as they had promised. 

“A storm is approaching. We don’t have much time if we are to go back to town tonight.” Mr. Gunn said as they sat down.

“Let us be quick then. We know that Rackham and Teach arrive tomorrow. Mr. Gunn, what is the situation in town with the men? Can we assume, that they are ready if we start our attack tomorrow after sunset?” James asked sounding like the feared pirate Captain he was. Thomas couldn’t help but to stare him at awe, how easily he again changed from James to Flint.

“Yes. Most of the preparations have been made. We have the numbers in our favor in town, among the pirates I mean.” Mr. Gunn answered. 

“Good. That’s good. We all know that Rackham, Anne and especially Teach want to see Rogers and Eleanor pay for what they did to Vane, so let’s try to give them a chance for that.” James saw Thomas’ aghast expression in the corner of his eye. He took in a deep breath and sighed. “We have all lost a great deal because of England. Now, the plan...”

They all sat around the table with only a couple of candles lighting the room. Mr. Featherstone told what he knew about Rogers’ resent actions and Idelle told what she had heard from Max and the customers at the brothel. Thomas explained what they were most likely to expect if and when the war against England had been won and James and Billy planned out, with the help of Mr. Gunn and Garret, the attack from the sea. The storm was growing stronger as the night got darker.

“If no one has any questions about the plan and everyone knows what is expected of them, I suggest we rise a toast.” James said and pulled a bottle of rum from the cupboard. “I’ve been saving this for a special occasion.” He poured some rum for everyone. “To Nassau!”

“To Nassau!” They all shouted as the first rumbles of thunder filled the air.

\- - -

Few hours after the others had left the three men were all more or less drunk. They had kept drinking the rum and some fine wines James had saved. Billy had lighted a fire in the fireplace to keep them warm as the air had cooled significantly because of the storm. They were all enjoying their time, laughing and telling stories. Most of them involved James as Thomas and Billy continued on the common ground they’d found the last time they drank together. At times James tried to correct them, telling how things really happened, but it only resulted in more laughter.

“This one’s empty.” Billy discovered when he tried to fill up Thomas’ mug. 

“There’s more in the cellar.” James said and got up.

“No, I’ll get it.” Billy stopped him and headed outside to the rain. 

“I love to see you smile.” Thomas said to James when the other man pulled him up from his chair to kiss him.


	11. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas makes Billy's dreams come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first ever smut. Please be kind.

“I brought two just in case we…” Billy halted when he saw the two men sharing a passionate kiss in front of the fireplace.

The men parted their lips and Thomas reached out his hand inviting Billy to come closer. He didn’t let go of James. Billy look bewildered but walked closer so that Thomas could reach his hand. It was like something was pulling him. Once Thomas got a hold of Billy he pulled him closer next to them. James was looking at him eyes wide with his lips parted. Thomas kissed him again not letting go of Billy this time. When he left James’ lips he turned his eyes to Billy and back to James, who was following his gaze to Billy. James couldn’t believe what he thought was happening. Thomas had always been more liberal and open to new things, but this was something James had not even known he had wanted.

Billy was standing right next to him and James could feel the younger man’s strong body there beside his. He saw Billy’s lips parting and his breathing getting heavy. He could feel Thomas gently pushing him towards the other man. Billy hesitated but leaned in and planted a shy kiss on James’ lips. Billy couldn’t believe it was happening. He knew they were all drunk and this could turn in to something he regretted in the morning, but he didn’t care. He loved how the man felt on his lips, how he tasted. The kiss turned into something more passionate as both of them let go of everything that had been holding them back for years. Billy let go of the bottles he still had in his hand and they thudded to the floor. None of them noticed. He then wrapped his strong arm around James pulling him closer. Thomas stepped back so that Billy stayed between them. 

“You’re all wet.” Thomas said soft voice. “We need to get you warmed up.”

Billy parted from James’ lips just to glance over his shoulder to look at Thomas who was smiling at him. The man was pulling his shirt up and seconds later got help from James. Billy didn’t know what was happening, but he really didn’t care. This was probably the last time he had with his Captain so he let go of all his hesitations. He lifted his arms up as Thomas pulled of his shirt. By that time James was already feeling his chest and stomach with his rough hands. Thomas tossed the shirt to the floor and slid his hands over Billy’s muscular back.

“God Billy, look at you.” James sighed roughly eyes roaming all over his body. Usually Billy would have felt uncomfortable with that kind of attention, but it coming from him made his heart beat even faster.

Thomas moved beside them still holding on to both men. James then turned to kiss him. After a passionate kiss Thomas left James’ lips and moved now behind him starting to remove his shirt. Billy immediately joined his efforts and nearly ripped James’ shirt of. Thomas trailed kisses from James’ neck to his lips as Billy leaned in to kiss his chest. James let out a low hum when Billy reached his nipples. He was so full of lust and need he felt he was about to explode. He pulled Billy up and kissed him roughly pressing his tongue inside and Billy let him. He then pulled Thomas closer planting a lustful kiss on him. After that he pulled himself away just a little and guided the taller men together. Seeing Thomas and Billy locking eyes and kissing each other first timidly but then turning it into something deeper, sent a jolt of lust to straight his groin. 

Once Thomas broke off from Billy he reached for the hands of both men and led them towards the bedroom. Billy quickly leaned down and picked one of the bottles with them. Thomas led them to the bed. He kissed James, then Billy and left the two shirtless men staring at each other panting. He moved around the room lighting some candles so that the whole room was dimly lit and then turned to watch the gorgeous men beside the bed. They were kissing. Billy was cupping James’ cheeks as James’ hands wondered all over Billy’s amazing body. Thomas knew that it was something that should have happened years ago. He loved watching the two.

Billy pulled the cork of the bottle not being able to move his eyes away from James. There was nothing he wanted more in the world than to have the man in front of him. The man looked at him with his beautiful sea green eyes, shirtless and powerful. His body was scarred and bruised but strong. Billy knew how dangerous the man could be. He quickly took encouragement from the bottle and offered it to James. James took a drink from it but before he could swallow Billy was already on his lips. The rum dripped down his jaw and on to his chest as he let the younger man’s tongue inside his mouth. He could feel Billy’s cock getting hard as the man grinded against him. He hadn’t realized how much he had been wanting this to happen before that moment and he could hardly believe that a man as young and gorgeous - in every way - as Billy was clearly wanting it just as badly.

Billy pushed his Captain on the bed and leaned in to suck and lick the rum of his body. James let out a deep hum when he felt Billy’s hot lips on his body. He look around for Thomas with hazed eyes, who was standing few steps away from the bed looking at them smiling softly. James was reaching his hand to him when Billy bit his nipple. The combination of pain and pleasure went straight to his groin and he pulled Billy up to kiss him. He then wrapped his leg around the man and pushed up so that he ended on the top of Billy. Billy let out a laugh.

James sat on his thighs. “Thomas, come look at that body. That's something out of this world.” He reached his hand to Thomas. Billy just laid there enjoying James’ hungry eyes on him.

“I agree.” Thomas walked behind him and whispered in his ear so that Billy heard it too. “Enjoy it. Enjoy it for me.” He kissed James’s neck.

“Thomas?” James said in a deep voice and turned to look at him. 

“I can’t. I’m not ready.” Thomas said quietly. “There’s a good chance this is our last night alive. I want you to enjoy it.” He took a hold of Billy’s hand who was reaching it out for him.

Thomas handed the bottle of rum to James and kissed him with more love Billy had ever seen. He felt tears in his eyes. James took drink from the bottle as Thomas laid on the bed next to Billy. 

“I want you to have him tonight.” He leaned in to whisper in Billy's ear looking at James. “You've kept him safe for so long. Give him what I can't.” He then kissed Billy with so much tenderness it made Billy’s heart jump.

By the time Thomas left his lips James was already licking his way up his body. Billy felt his cock throbbing as the man worked his way up. The softness of James’s lips together with his rough beard felt million times better than he had imagined. Billy jerked his hips up towards James. The movement brought that smirk on James’ lips he loved so much. His hands were moving all over James’ body feeling every inch of the exposed skin. When James reached his nipples he couldn’t take it any longer. He grabbed James thighs and with one move threw him back on his back. For a moment they seemed to fight over the control. Thomas couldn’t believe all the power and strength that was displayed in front of his eyes as he watched the two man struggle it out right next to him. He loved it. 

Finally James relented and both the men laughed as they kissed each other. Thomas was still on the bed next to them. Both of the men reached to touch him, to invite him to join, but he froze up from the contact. He just smiled and slowly shook his head. 

“I’m all right. Enjoy it.” He whispered almost inaudibly.

James kept looking at him while Billy worked his way down to open his leather trousers. James didn’t leave Thomas’ eyes until Billy had freed his throbbing cock from his pants and he heard Billy gasp at the sight. Billy couldn’t believe his eyes when he had pulled James’ hard cock out. It was just like he had imagined: thick, rock hard and beautiful. He could hardly fit all of it in his mouth. But he loved it. It was perfect and just like his captain. Billy wanted that cock inside him. He started working it and loved the sounds it made James let out. Billy kept his eyes on him and James felt like the sight alone could have thrown him over the edge.

James sat up and pulled Billy on his back so that his legs were still on the floor. James kneeled on the floor and pulled of Billy’s tight pants revealing his rock hard cock. James wrapped his hand around it and lick its head. The sound Billy let out made him mad from lust. James lifted Billy’s legs up exposing him completely. James reached down to trace his tongue on Billy’s rim. He suddenly felt Thomas moving behind him handing a small bottle of oil and sucked on his neck. He opened the bottle and covered his fingers with it. He then let the man’s legs back to the floor and reached up to bite his lip as he carefully worked his fingers on Billy’s hole. After a while Billy pushed them both up.

“Fuck me.” He said and turned his back to James.

James pushed Billy on his knees to the bed and teased his cock along his cleft. 

“Captain…James… please…” Billy panted.

James pushed himself slowly in feeling Billy opening up to him. He traced his hands along the muscles on Billy’s back as he started to fuck him in slow, strong pushes. He felt Thomas moving behind him and his hands wrapping around him as he fucked Billy.

“He’s gorgeous.” Thomas whispered. “You are gorgeous”. He continued and kissed the skin behind James’s ear. 

The combination on Thomas’ arms around him, his voice in his ear, the sight of Billy in front of him and the feeling of him around his cock was almost too much for James and he pulled himself out. Billy let out a small sigh. He turned on his back and moved to the center of the bed where James followed him.   
He pressed his cock in as Billy lifted his legs to his shoulders. Billy reached his own cock. James couldn’t hold back it any longer. The sight in front of him made him already hard cock throb and he started to fuck Billy faster slamming himself onto him. Billy’s moans became louder and more erratic. James leaned down to kiss Billy as he spilled between them making both of their bodies sticky. James came soon after that moaning heavily on to Billy’s mouth. After a while he slowly pulled himself out and licked Billy’s stomach clean. Billy had never felt so good.

“Thomas?” James panted looking at him with a face full of questions. He fell on his back between the two. 

Thomas leaned in to kiss him. He could taste Billy on his lips. “I wanted you to have him. He could give you what I couldn’t.” He turned his gaze onto Billy who was lying on his back panting and staring at the other men happy but utterly confused. “And he desperately needed to have you.” Thomas smiled and caressed Billy’s abdomen.

“You’re amazing. I love you.” James mumbled as he pulled Thomas in to deep kiss.

Billy was starting to get up once his breathing had settled.

“No, where are you going?” Thomas reached his arm and pulled the man back on to the bed.

“I was just...” Billy looked at the door.

“Stay with us.” James’ voice was so soft and caring Billy couldn’t believe it. James took his hand and pulled it across him as he turned on his side to pull Thomas closer. The three men fell asleep like that, holding on to each other.


	12. There's no hurry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is just lovely. No need to be sad anymore!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, keep in mind that this is my second smut ever!

Billy was the first one to wake up. He couldn’t believe what had happened last night. If he wouldn’t have woken up there naked next to his Captain, he would have thought it had just been one of his dreams. He couldn’t help but to look at the man before getting up. He was absolutely gorgeous. That strong body Billy new capable of most horrific things, covered in most adorable freckles. Billy fought the urge to touch him. He didn’t want to wake him. He knew last night had been something special. He had seen how much deep love was between the two men. There was no place for him there. So he quietly got up, collected his clothes from the floor and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” He heard James say in a rough voice. “Come back here.”

“I…I didn’t want to wake you. Sorry.” Billy whispered. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted so much to go back to the bed, but he was afraid of what part the alcohol had played last night.

“Well you did by getting up. Come back.” James continued. “Or, unless you don’t want to?” He pressed his head to the pillow ashamed.

Billy smiled, said nothing and walked back to the bed. James looked at him with a most beautiful smile and pulled him in between him and Thomas. He planted a sweet kiss on Billy’s lips which resulted Billy humming with pleasure. 

“I can’t believe the two of you are in my bed.” James whispered to Billy’s ear stretching his arm across Billy to gently touch Thomas. 

“Neither can I. Although I never imagined there being a third man in the play.” Billy said lazily closing his eyes. “Not that I’m complaining!” He added quickly.

“Oh, so you had been imagining this? Thomas was right then?” James had that mischievous smile on that Billy secretly adored. Billy could feel himself blushing. 

“Like you didn’t know? I’ve been dreaming about last night practically from the moment you rescued me.” Billy whispered.

“Why didn’t you do anything about it?” James asked eyes wide with amazement holding his chin on Billy’s chest.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Billy let out a strained laugh, even though he was trying his best not to wake up Thomas.

“Yes.” James said, looking sincere and even more confused.

“You’re wondering why I didn’t try to make a move on the most feared, bad tempered, unpredictable pirate captain there is, who just happened to share his life with a woman? Who is not the most approachable, to put it mildly? Who I saw beat a man to death with his bare hands just to prove to everyone he’s not weak and destroyed a whole city to avenge the woman he shared his life with? And who, in addition to all that, is the Captain of the crew of whose Boatswain I am?” Billy looked at James with his big blue eyes. 

“Oh, well…If you put it like that.” James sighed and lowered his back to the pillow. “I wasn’t that bad?”

“I was scared shitless of you!”

James couldn’t help but to laugh. “I’m sorry.” He lifted himself up again and kissed Billy cupping his cheek. “Do I still scare you?” He looked right in to Billy’s eyes. 

“Sometimes.” Billy answered honestly. “I’m afraid you put yourself in jeopardy when there’s no need for it.”

“That was before. Now I have something to live for again.” James said reaching himself over Billy to softly touch Thomas. He turned his eyes back to Billy and smiled. “Double that.” 

“What are you two talking about?” Thomas mumbled barely awake.

“How happy you two make me.” James answered and moved closer to Thomas to kiss him. He was now almost completely on top of Billy.

Billy could no longer keep from touching the man. He planted his hand on the back of James and moved it down to hold the small of his back. 

“I can’t believe this is real.” Billy hummed with a deep voice.

Thomas and James broke of their kiss and turned look at Billy. Then James reached for Billy’s lips and pushed his tongue in.

“It’s still relatively early. We have plenty of time before we have to get ready.” He mumbled barely pulling himself from Billy’s lips.

Billy could feel Thomas moving closer planting kisses to his side. “I’m not in any hurry.” He said teasing Billy with his teeth.

Billy pulled James closer to a deeper kiss. He lowered his hand to caress his firm ass. He could feel himself getting hard as James’ tongue explored his mouth. Thomas was still kissing and biting his sides. Billy lowered his other hand to touch his back. Thomas didn’t tense up like had last night and he was happy about that. He kept working his hand on James's cleft. He wanted to fuck the man so badly, but wasn't sure if the man was ready give up the control. 

Thomas pulled James on his back between them. He pushed James’ hands above his head and started kissing and nibbling all over his body. Billy moved lower teasing his cock with his tongue. 

“Oh my god. What are you two doing to me!” James growled in a deep husky way lifting his head so he could better see what Billy was doing. The man smiled mischievously as he took the whole of his cock in his mouth. He hummed deep in his throat.

Thomas kept playing his fingers on James nipples as he moved up to suck on his earlobes. There was a spot behind his ear that Thomas knew would drive the man crazy. He turned his head so he could see Billy sucking James’ thick cock. The sight went straight to his groin. It was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen. He felt James’ hand moving gently on his back and he leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was rough and intense as James panted in his mouth. He loved the way James’ touch felt on his body. It no longer brought unavoidable memories to his head and he could actually enjoy it. He had missed it, the feeling of James’ strong hands on him. He could feel James’ breathing getting shorter as Billy worked on him.

Thomas pushed himself up and turned to kiss Billy. He loved how his lips were read and swollen from sucking James’ cock. James quickly turned on his hands and knees and put his attention to Billy’s cock. Thomas sighed for the sight and Billy could hardly keep himself up as James took all of him in his mouth. James hadn’t noticed Thomas getting the oil and startled when he felt Thomas’ fingers dripping with oil working his hole. He loved the feeling, Thomas had always been good at it. Billy hold the back of his head and fucked his mouth in the same rhythm that Thomas worked his fingers in his ass. 

After a while Thomas pulled out his fingers and moved over to Billy. He gently motioned Billy to leave James mouth as he pulled the man up for a deep kiss. James was out of breath and panting with desire. Billy moved behind the man and teased his cleft with the end of his cock slick with saliva. The deep moan from James gave him the encouragement he needed and he slowly pushed himself in. The feeling of his captain’s tightness around his cock was almost too much and he could hardly move. He let out a long, deep hum as he started slowly fucking the man. The feeling was something far better Billy had ever even dreamed of.

James couldn't believe how good Billy's big cock felt inside him. He looked at Thomas who looked at him with such lust in his eyes. James ached for Thomas’s cock, but he didn’t want to pressure him. He wanted so badly to give him back even a part of the pleasure he had given him. As Billy fucked him slowly and steadily, he traced his hand slowly against Thomas’s thigh. He did not pull back like he had last time. James locked his eyes with the man as he moved his hand up looking for any signs to stop. There was none and James felt Thomas’s cock hard under his breeches. The realization made his own cock throb even harder.

Billy speeded the pace and James needed his both arms for support, so he used his mouth feel Thomas through the fabric. Then suddenly Thomas pulled himself back alarming James, but he did it only to lower his pants and letting his hard cock out for James. James hummed with pleasure when he took it in his mouth. He could feel the other men’s hands on his back as they worked out a steady rhythm to fuck him. Billy loved to see Thomas face as James sucked him. Like all the pain had melted away by the pleasure. He realized then how unbelievably beautiful the man was. He reached his hands against James back to touch Thomas hands. The two men looked at each other as they fucked the same man. They reached forward to share a kiss. Billy could feel himself coming close. He could hear James's breathing getting shorter and his hums and groans getting louder. 

“I want to see you.” Billy huffed roughly and pulled himself out. 

James turned on his back and Billy pulled him close to him lifting his legs up he pushed back in. Thomas lowered himself next to James kissing and sucking his neck and shoulders. James reached his hand to his own cock but Thomas padded it away.

“No, I want to fuck you.” He whispered to James’ ear voice heavy with lust.

James pulled the man in to kiss and bit his lower lip as he felt Billy pulsating inside him.

“Oh my god, Captain….James!” Billy almost shouted as he came. He fell on top of the man and slowly pulled himself out. James pulled the man next to him and kissed him panting as Thomas moved lover. 

James turned to look at Thomas as he pressed his cock in. Thomas started fucking him slowly caressing James’ body with his hand. James loved it. Thomas fucking him was pure pleasure. Thomas speeded up the rhythm and let out passionate hums deep from his throat. Billy loved to watch the two men together. He kissed James’ neck not wanting to intervene too much, but after a while he reached down to pull on James cock and worked it in the same rhythm as Thomas fucked him. He moved to take James’ cock in his mouth and it didn't take long when he felt James whole body tighten as he came to his mouth. Thomas came only few seconds later as he felt James tightening around him. The men moaned simultaneously as the hot feeling of pure pleasure washed over them. Thomas moved next to them and kissed them both with utmost passion and tenderness.

“I needed that.” He managed to huff as he wrapped his arms around the men.


	13. Epilogue

“Oh my god. Let's never leave this bed!” James sighed once he gained back some of his control. Thomas and Billy both laughed heartedly, still panting. 

“No, I mean it. She once told me I was fighting for the sake of fighting. I now have all that I could ever need, I don't want to fight anymore” James continued this time with a more serious tone. “Let’s go away, the three of us. Somewhere where no one knows us. Let’s leave Flint here and stay like this forever.”

“You're serious? You would leave all you've been fighting for, just like that?” Billy got up on his elbows and stared at the man.

“I was fighting for Thomas. I now have him. I have you.” James said slowly looking at Billy. “Right?”

“You always had me.” Billy couldn't help but to smile and fell back to the bed.

“I already lost you one time because of Nassau. If I’m honest, I don't want to risk a second time.” Thomas said quietly.

“It’s settled then, we leave Nassau behind us? Billy, you really want this?” James asked with genuine concern in his voice.

Billy stayed silent for a moment. “I love my brothers.“ He said. “But let’s be honest, they’re better off with a different Captain. I never wanted to be a pirate. I stayed because of you. If you’re not here, what would I do?”

The three men stayed like that for a long time, arms and legs intertwined, gently kissing and caressing at each other, enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

\- - -

By the nightfall they had packed everything that had sentimental value for them. They left the house in the cover of the darkness when the first sounds of the battle echoed from the sea. They were never seen or heard of after that. - Although years later someone heard a story of three wealthy English gentlemen travelling around the new world enjoying beautiful things, collecting books and never staying long in one place. 

\- - -

The pirates lost the battle over Nassau in the end, but the golden age of piracy lasted for more than a decade after Captain Flint had disappeared from the world. 

 

END


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